Journal Express, Knoxville, IA

Opinion

November 14, 2013

Five steps for a quick trip down the aisle

(Continued)

2. Fly solo.

Be brave. You do not need a second opinion about which flavor of Ramen noodles to purchase or whether your toilet paper should be mega strong or mega soft. If shopping was meant to be a team sport, there would be more than one handle on the cart. Besides, it’s an undisputed fact that two people take up twice as much space in an aisle as a solo shopper and are more likely to commit the crime of aisle blockage. They also purchase significantly more product. Want to save money? Leave the family at home.

3. When you have no choice but to bring them…

If you have kids (and who doesn’t) there will be times when you are forced to include the little munchkins in your grocery pursuits. Whenever possible, physically restrain them. Most carts are even equipped with locking belts for this very purpose. A child who is unable to run in a zigzag pattern throughout the frozen foods section is 24 percent less likely to convince you into an unneeded ice cream purchase and 57 percent less likely to throw a temper tantrum in the candy aisle.

4. Don’t lollygag.

Shopping is not a passive sport. Pausing, stopping, daydreaming, dawdling or lingering in the cereal aisle is frowned upon by those of us trying to get the job done. This is not the time to plan tonight’s dinner or stop and wonder if you are out of pickles. Do the prep work pre-store – at home, where dawdling over a cup of coffee is not only tolerated, but sometimes even endorsed.

5. Do the parade wave.

It’s pleasant to run into familiar faces in the produce section, but let’s not take it to the extreme. Greet friends with a wink and a wave; catch up on family gossip with Great Aunt Tilly later at a funeral or other family gathering. This is not a brunch or happy hour. This is the grocery store. Shop now. Chitchat later. On the phone. On Facebook. At work. At a bar. Anywhere but in front of the chocolate milk, because we are out at my house and if you block my access I will be far away from my happy place.

Text Only
Opinion
  • Another View Charlotte mug Another View

    Last week on TV – remember?  Pictures of the D-Day landing when Allied troops waded through cold waves, June 6, 1944, to face Nazi guns and land on the beaches of Normandy, France.  

    June 18, 2014 1 Photo

  • In the House of Wood

    I sometimes worry about what little regard is shown for human life these days. 

    June 18, 2014

  • Heisman winner's legacy wasn't about football
    If you've heard of Nile Kinnick, you’ve never forgotten his story. If you haven't, it’s a relatively short one with a sad ending.
     

    June 5, 2014

  • The Rules of the Road By Jill Pertler I do not consider myself an excellent driver. I am good, or maybe just okay - around a B-minus to a C-plus if I were giving out grades. I am not great at maneuvering into tight parking spaces or knowing when it is my turn at a four-wa

    March 21, 2014

  • Steve mug Creativity rules! I've noticed as a married man that there are times in our marriages when it is just nice to be right. Take for instance Monday night. By the time I got home from the council meeting, I was pretty hungry. I didn't grab anything to eat before my evenin

    March 21, 2014 1 Photo

  • Frankford mug Acute Temporary Comfort Rejection Syndrome By Phillip Frankford Acute Temporary Comfort Rejection Syndrome

    March 21, 2014 2 Photos

  • Shivvers pic 21st century overwhelm, beginning with shampoo I was in a hurry and needed only one more item at the grocery store. Shampoo. I wanted shampoo to wash my hair. But I found a hazard course - and couldn't remember how I got through the last time. What should I do? Would it be simple "anti-itch liqui

    March 21, 2014 1 Photo

  • Next time ... To the Editor: While surfing my Facebook page, I came across this message: "I Shall Continue To Do What I think Is Right Whether Anybody Likes It Or Not." -Harry S. Truman. After reading this quote, I decided to tell my experience. I was walking to m

    March 21, 2014

  • Protecting Iowa's children A topic that most Iowans prefer not to acknowledge nor discuss is human trafficking. However, it is a serious matter in our society that we can no longer afford to ignore. With the I-80 and I-35 corridors that crisscross our state - and the I-29 corr

    March 6, 2014

  • Letter: Disagrees with Shivvers To the Editor: I read, with interest, Ms. Shivvers' comments in her opinion piece "Another View-Breaking Bad in Iowa" in the Feb. 14, 2014, edition of the Knoxville Journal-Express. It is the first time I have heard today's agriculture compared to th

    March 6, 2014

Features
AP Video
In Virginia, the Rise of a New Space Coast Two Women Narrowly Avoid Being Hit by Train NCAA Settles Head-injury Suit, Will Change Rules Jury Awards Ventura $1.8M in Defamation Case Crayola Announces Family Attraction in Orlando Raw: NH Man Held on $1M in Teen's Kidnapping New Sanctions on Key Sectors of Russian Economy Senate Confirms McDonald As VA Secretary Kerry: Not Worried About Israeli Criticism US Ready to Slap New Sanctions on Russia Boater Rescued From Edge of Kentucky Dam Girl Struck by Plane on Florida Beach Dies House to Vote on Slimmed-down Bill for Border Looming Demand Could Undercut Flight Safety Fish Oil Plant Blast Kills One Two Huge Fires Burning in Northern California Giant Ketchup Bottle Water Tower Up for Sale Easier Nuclear Construction Promises Fall Short Suspect Dead, Marshals and Cop Wounded in NYC Judge OKs Record-setting $2B Sale of Clipper
Facebook
Hyperlocal Search
Premier Guide
Find a business

Walking Fingers
Maps, Menus, Store hours, Coupons, and more...
Premier Guide
Poll

Upon completion and reopening of Third Street, should the City of Knoxville wait to start the next stage of the Streetscape and Infrastructure project until 2015?

Yes
No
     View Results